Understand the Past So You Can Let It Go
One of the things that hurts the possibility of creating more success is the stubborn habit of clinging to the past. Because we relive our past experiences for years both in reality and in our retrospective minds, it feels like a very comfortable place to be.
Placing a high value on certain legacies we have achieved can be fine…
However, when those legacies are toxic they can be outright dangerous and can ruin your business and your life.
Seeing Toxic as Normal
How many times have we heard about or saw a friend who was in an abusive relationship that seemed obvious to most outsiders that they should leave their abusive partner?
Usually we stand confounded that anyone would put up with such behavior. But because they are familiar with this behavior in their past, they cling to this viewpoint as a “normal” relationship even when everyone around them can clearly see they’d be better off moving on.
Captain Obvious Saves the Day?
Okay Captain Obvious, so you look at your past and you DO see the problems.
However, even though you think you’re done with the problem, the problem may not be done with you. This is because we sometimes carry unresolved issues from our dysfunctional past into our future and beyond.
Sometimes these unresolved issues surround feelings about having to “do everything yourself” and so you make several mistakes with your books and now you pay more taxes than you should have.
Sometimes people have unresolved issues about the way they feel about money and are afraid to invest in something that will allow their business to become more profitable.
Many times it goes all the way back to unresolved issues they had with their parents which robbed them of their self esteem and the ability to become the truly great person they are deep inside.
Cutting the Past Loose in 4 Simple Steps
- Look at your past year and think about how what you experienced has either helped or hurt you.
- Take an inventory of the good things that have happened on accident and now instead make them happen on purpose.
- Alternately, look at the bad things that happened and take inventory of the people and feelings that caused them to occur as well.
- Then “cut loose” the people and feelings that allowed the bad things to occur.
There will be tears and anxiety as you face releasing the comfortable but dysfunctional people and things in your life. And that’s perfectly Ok. Just keep calm and know that you are releasing the need to be accepted by other people.
Then look in the mirror and realize that the only person who really matters what they think about you is you.
Once you realize that, you are on your way to building a new future which will be very comfortable indeed.
Image Courtesy: Randy Heinitz